I grew up in Des Moines. But I escaped. I was paroled.

At the age of 8, I started cooking school. It was a two-year school; it took me three years to finish. I was eight. I went into the restaurant industry for awhile, in the 70s. That was when chefs were servants.

I retired at the age of 46 from the computer industry. I fished and watched movies for a couple years. Then one of my neighbors and I hosted a block party, and the phones started ringing.

I loved to cook, loved to BBQ, loved people, so I eventually returned to my true love. I guess I was kind of drawn back into it. There was always this siren’s wail: “Come to me, come to me!”

I’m kind of a hard-drinking, hard-living kind of guy. I’m a bull in a china shop. It serves me well because the people I meet don’t forget me. I’m walking around grumbling—sometimes I have all my teeth in, sometimes I don’t [laughs].

I formulated Two Guys Grilling after the guilds of Europe. If people wanted to become a cobbler, they would go to work in a shoe shop. They’d sweep out, they’d cut leather, and eventually they’d become a master cobbler. I think that it’s an outstanding model for business because it’s worked for 800 years.

We have 500 recipes. One of our specialties is California Q, our copyrighted brand of BBQ. High protein, low fat, low to no sodium, lots of grilled fruits and vegetables, and natural to organic foods. Very healthy. When we changed the way that Two Guys Grilling cooked, I lost 80 pounds. I have the letter from my cardiologist to prove it.

Asking me to pick my favorite recipe is like asking me which of my children is my favorite!

We do everything from BBQ to full, in-ground New England lobster bakes. We do pigs and the whole thing. During the course of a month in BBQ season, we might feed 15,000 people.

Most of our best ideas come after three martinis.

I wanted to give back to the community. Since we started, we’ve raised maybe 15-18 million dollars for charitable interests. The thing that took me a couple years to figure out is that it’s the best marketing on the planet.

I really like working with the military. These guys don’t get enough credit for what they do. It’s really sad. I get a little teary about that. I may be a rough, tough bastard, but I am in touch. We’re part of the Wounded Warrior Project and Iraq Star. Wounded Warrior, they’ll get you new legs, and the army will rebuild your head, but it won’t make you look purdy again… like me [laughs]. So Iraq Star arranges reconstructive and cosmetic surgery. I’ve got a Meritorious Service Medal from the Sergeant Major of the U.S. Army, Kenneth Preston.

I can call in an air strike, the only problem is there’s no bullets or bombs. [laughs] All you’re gonna get is a real loud noise and a good visual.

My favorite breakfast is cold pizza from Papa Murphy’s in Dana Point.

I snapped a tooth off on a Nature Valley Oats ‘N Honey bar. Now I have a stainless steel bolt. I set off metal detectors.

I’ll start planning an event probably about three or four weeks in advance. I plan all the events and make sure that all the i’s are crossed and the t’s are dotted.

My day starts between 5-6am. The pit crew will get here between 7:30-8. We’ll do the load out and go to an event, to be set up by 9.

I’ve got a rebuilt ankle, I had a wrist replacement surgery, a rebuilt shoulder, I have artificial lenses in my eyes, a stainless steel thing in my mouth…I am the six million dollar man. I have serious osteo-arthritis, so every step I take hurts. But I’m still out there. The day I don’t show up for an event, the only question you have to ask is, “when’s the funeral?”

When we get back to the batcave we’ve got to do all the clean up and reset, and that’s when the martinis start [laughs]. We usually have what we call Ten Pertinent Questions. What did we do right? What did we do wrong? We’ll start a dialogue that is the absolute finest way of improving service and the food that we make.

The youngest member of our pit crew is Iones Tsalmanis at 19, and our senior statesman is Tom Vlahos—he’s 73 or 74. He’s the big boy. He can throw some shade.

We have newbies come in as intern candidates, and I don’t decide who stays and who goes; the pit crew does. If they don’t pull their weight, they’re gone. Young Ionis, his first event with TGG was the Playboy Golf Finals. That poor SOB had to feed 400 Playboy playmates.

We work with the Pentagon, the NBA, NFL, Nascar, Major League Baseball and Playboy.

We meet so many cool people: Miss United States and Miss America; Jim Weatherley, the past president of the NFL alumni; Sean McNabb of Quiet Riot, a couple of senators, Nascar drivers… I know people in very high places, and people in very low places.

The pit crew’s food speaks for itself. It’s not about me. When you say “you” that’s a collective noun.

I ran out of room on the wall in my office for the plaques and awards we get and so has my partner Mike Swan. So, I’ve had to start screwing stuff to the ceiling.

If I was on death row, and it’d have to have been something pretty badass to get me there, my last meal would be a smoked Tri-Tip French Dip Sandwich and Grilled Chipotle Asparagus*.

I think we’re the only company that has the huevos to do the kinds of things that we do. I’m the one who likes to walk on the edge and try to create things that don’t exist.

When other restaurateurs have their private parties, they call us.

The best part of the day is coming home to my family. I’ve been with the same woman for 35 years.

Be good, have fun. If you can’t do both at the same time, alternate.

More exclusive interviews...

Interested in advertising? •   Email Candice@TheOCGazette.com

Tel 949.582.9771  •  Fax 949.582.9772  •  Info@TheOCGazette.com

27601 Forbes Rd, Suite 6  •  Laguna Niguel, CA 92677

TWO GUYS GRILLING MOTTO:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

You can buy Two Guys Grilling’s award-winning spices, rubs, and sauces at OC Barbeques Plus. *You can find recipes and book Two Guys Grilling to cater your next event via their website at www.twoguysgrilling.net

LOCAL MONTHLY FEATURES ::